If you’re currently in a relationship and you’re wondering, “Am I in a healthy relationship?” then you’re no different from many people out there. But even if you aren’t sure, it’s important to know that it’s never too late to change course. This guide will help you identify the signs of a healthy relationship, so that you can tell for yourself if your bond is strong or whether it has unhealthy patterns.
It starts with learning the basic qualities of what makes a good relationship (and what doesn’t), identifying the red flags and unhealthy patterns that come up over time, and then taking proactive steps toward changing those behaviors.
What Makes a Relationship Healthy or Unhealthy?
Which signals would tell you that your relationship has unhealthy patterns? What is the sign of a happy and close relationship? And how do you know what’s healthy versus unhealthy in the first place? A relationship doesn’t have to be perfect or even ideal to be considered “good enough” and healthy. All long term relationships have their own ups and downs. This is why the more challenging the relationship, and the more you struggle to stay together, the better it is for you both.
Falling In Love
In order to do well on the other two questions listed here, you need to know that you are capable of loving someone else when your marriage is not over. If you can’t accept the fact that you’re falling in love with someone outside your marriage, there’s a problem.
You may have had good reasons for saying your relationship was over in the past, but now it’s different. Your feelings have changed and when you look back at the times you said things were over and why, they don’t make sense anymore. The circumstances around why you ended things are no longer tied to those feelings; those feelings are new. And once those feelings become real, that’s when you need to make a choice.
The Act of Falling in Love Changes Everything
When we fall in love with someone, it changes everything. We start the process of wanting to spend time with that person. We want to share intimate details with them so we can feel understood and heard. And even if the relationship is not long term, our feelings for that person become stronger over time, causing us to look for ways to be together.
In other words, we can be romantically attracted to someone outside our marriage. We can feel this way when we were previously not interested in that person at all.
The only thing is, we have to be very certain this attraction is real. Because once the feelings are real, if you keep your eyes open, you’ll notice the relationship developing in ways that start to resemble a romantic relationship. You may be trying to figure out how to get together or spending more and more time with one another outside of work or family obligations.
You’re picking up on all of the warning signs that something is not right in your marriage. Maybe your partner isn’t paying attention to you or the kids, or they’re working too much. For whatever reason, they’ve stopped making you feel like a priority in their life and this is causing a disconnect in your marriage that’s now creating an opening for someone new to come along and fill that void.
Attracted: How Can You Tell If the Attraction is Real?
How can you tell if this attraction is real? If you’re wondering whether your relationship is over or if your marriage is still intact, then chances are good that the attraction you feel for someone else is real. But it’s not necessarily because of your spouse’s lack of attention, which brings us to. The Best Way to Find Out How Your Attraction to Someone Else Is Going to Play Out.
This cannot be emphasized enough: You have to figure out what this attraction means and not make a decision based on it. You can’t take what you’re feeling outside of its context.
Never Go To Bed Angry
We’ve all heard the wise advice that says “never go to bed angry.” However, it’s not as simple as that. According to one expert, “the correct adage is not ‘don’t go to bed angry,’ but rather, don’t fight before bed.” In actuality, the majority of issues are faced by couples, whether it’s finances, children, family members, in-laws. Also everyone should know that the right mattress helps you sleep better so choose the right mattress for you.
Simply cannot be resolved before bedtime. In fact, bedtime is not an ideal time to attempt to resolve conflicts, because the more sleepy we get, the worse our moods, and communication skills are affected. These are all essential components that are essential to a healthy way of resolving conflicts. Instead of trying to settle fights before bedtime picks your battles, and their time carefully. It is best to defer heavy discussion until you’re both rested and have your heads (and an adequate night’s sleep) in the right direction.
Separate Beds Are An Indication Of A Poor Union
The myth of sleep divorce is so widespread that it has even been given the name of a judge, “sleep divorce,” which perpetuates the notion that sleeping in a separate room means your relationship is in trouble. While sharing a bed together can bring peace and comfort for certain people, it can be an issue of anger and disdain. In the end, the value of your relationship is more on the way you make the right decisions together, and how well you are sleeping than your sleeping arrangement. Couples make deliberate and collective choices about the arrangements they make for their sleep, whether they are together or not they are perfectly capable of maintaining their intimacy and incredibly satisfying relationships. Also adults prefer sleeping on their side.
If you’re in a relationship, it’s time to explore what makes it good, bad, and ugly. This can be a rough journey. But find out what your relationship is lacking and where it stands now, so you can work toward changing the things that need to change.